Skills For Success

For years now we have a system in our house whereby if you need a specific food item you write it down on “the list”. The list is a piece of paper that fits in a simple plastic paper holder that has a magnet attached to its back.   

Nothing fancy. 

But oh so effective. 

Whoever goes to the store has a list already created. Nobody needs to try to remember what it was we ran out of two days ago.  

I have adopted the same system for running my office. I have an on-going list of things I need to do. I can prioritize the list each day. I can check off the things I accomplish and feel really good about watching all those checkmarks.  

For me – using paper and pen works. There is something about writing it down that helps me remember that it needs to be done. I’ve tried using technology to do this, and while it worked, there wasn’t the same satisfaction as being able to check everything off the list and throwing it away. No matter what your actual modality is, seeing the jobs written on paper and being able to prioritize them provides you with daily goals that can spur you into action today!  

I've created my business around pracical ideas like this that actually work.

So write it down - then check off the list of goals you have set out for yourself.

Turn an ordinary day into a successful one.

I had to fly to Ottawa this week to run a workshop on managing stress. The thing is I had to manage my own stress to get there.

No it isn’t what you think. I am not afraid of the actual flying experience. In fact I find the whole idea of whipping up into the “wild blue yonder” exhilarating.

But I am a little anxious when I have to navigate airports on my own. Usually I fly with family or colleagues. But this time I was on my own.

So I thought I’d give Porter Airlines a try since they are a small airline service that flies out of downtown Toronto.

When I arrived at the little building on the edge of Lake Ontario at the foot of Toronto, I marched right up to the first Porter employee I saw and let him know that I was new to the airlines. He almost took me by the arm and led me to the kiosk where I could print my own ticket. He kindly stood back and was ready to help should I not be computer savvy (which I am).

We then had to take a ferry boat across Lake Ontario to the Island where the plane takes off. Evidently it was his turn to go on the ferryboat with the customers. As I was walking off the ferry, he kindly pointed me towards security and I’m sure would have walked me there if I had asked.

It was a wonderful way to begin a day that could have been one filled with anxiety. Instead this superb display of customer service on the part of a Porter employee set the tone for what turned out to be a wonderful adventure that I can now use as an example in both my stress management seminars and customer service workshops.

Well done Porter Airlines!

This Fall I ran a Wednesday lunch hour series, Creating a Dynamic Presentation, for Accclaim Health’s newly formed Speakers’ Bureau in Halton.  

Over the course of four weeks we had lots of time to look at a variety of topics through fun, interactive learning exercises.   We wound it up with  role-play of “What Not To Do” that had everyone laughing out loud.  

Yet when all is said and done, as one of the participants pointed out, “The most important tip is to pracise your presentation.” Practise in front of a mirror. Practise in front of your family. Practise in front of your colleagues.   

Then go out there and deliver the best presentation ever! 

Yesterday marked the beginning of the holiday season for me. My husband and I wandered through “Christmas Stress” -- oops, I meant "Christmas Street" in the Bay’s flagship store in Toronto, Ontario.

We strolled by the store’s holiday windows outside, each decorated with animated characters depicting various scenes from the Victorian era. We even had our picture taken with two elves. 

The same evening we went to the Holland Park Gallery Gardens’ Christmas open house with our kids and grandkids. The fact that we could hardly find a parking spot was our first clue that the place was packed with holiday shoppers. 

I found myself saying, “It can’t be that time of year already!”   I could feel the stress of holidays slowly rising inside. That was yesterday.

Today I took control of that stress. Time to make a list of the gifts I have been stockpiling over the last ten months to see what I have and what I need to buy.

Then armed with the toy catalogue we went off to buy the “must have” toys for the little ones before there isn’t a transformer in sight! 

With my gift list almost complete now, I feel much more relaxed - at least about the gifts. It is that time of the year already, and I say “bring it on!”

Lately I have been facilitating workshops on creating balance in your life. Sometimes I wonder who learns more -- the participants or me, the facilitator!  The other day an executive director from one of the many Community Foundations across Canada shared with us that ever since he had polio at the age of 12 he has made sure that he gives himself one full hour every day to do what he wants to do. That intrigued me so I asked him when he likes to take that hour. His answer: "3:00 pm works best for me. I schedule it in my daytimer. "

"What if it doesn't work out at 3:00 pm?" I asked.

"Then I schedule it for another time that day, but I never miss a day."

The moral of the story:  take care of yourself first and then you can help others.

Today I turned my mourning into gratitude.  Ever since the first anniversary of this fateful event I have found myself drawn to the television broadcasts that remind us of the plight of so many untold heroes six years ago.  

I have sat with tears flowing down my cheeks reliving that day while feeling  overwhelmed with sadness. I knew nobody connected with the event. But I did have a hand in sending counsellors to help ease the pain of many in the days that followed. 

Today, I took a page from a tip received from Prevention magazine on writing a gratitude journal.  I call it something else, but I do keep a journal beside my bed to record positive moments or events.   The article specifically tells us that  positivity can be good for our health and well being. It seemed like a good idea to make note of something I am grateful for in my life especially today.  

I wrote about the celebration of our wedding anniversary yesterday and remembered that we were just two kids who got married without a penny to our names but lots of dreams, many of which came true. 

My sprit lifted. I started working in my home office with renewed vigor.   Look to the positive – it really can brighten up the day!

This summer I decided to take my own advice to take some time off to relax more by eliminating things that I did not absolutely have to do, like blogging.So here I am now refreshed, renewed and ready to train, speak and coach others on how to “do well”.

What did I learn from this hiatus? 

Stress is a little insidious in that you don’t necessarily recognize the tension you are under – until you slow down a little.

Slowing down is easier to do physically then it is to do mentally.

The mind needs a while longer to catch up with the mantra “take it easy”. My mind wanted to continue to work hard rather than relax and be still for awhile.However, once the mind caught up with the idea of slowing down then I found I slept better and I woke up more refreshed in the mornings.

And then it happened….

I had a passionate desire to take even better care of myself! I began eating lots more fruits and veggies. I enjoyed long hikes with my husband.  I laughed out loud with our grandchildren over nothing. It felt wonderful!

Well, Tuesday after Labour Day hit. Clients started calling.  The “new year” has begun.The difference this year?

I am refreshed, renewed and excited to enjoy the harmonious balance I am creating between my personal life and my working life.

Last week our family took much of the week off from our regular routine to say goodbye to a beloved mother, grandmother and great-grandmother who passed away on Mother's Day.  Betty - Jane Jones, my mother-in-law, taught me many things as a young bride, then as a mom, and now as a grandmother myself. Though most of her family members have careers or jobs that we could not leave entirely, we spent much of the week together remembering a humble, loving woman who always had time to put the tea on when her family came to visit.

Now as a coach and trainer who encourages people to find  harmony between what they do for a living and how they spend time privately, I realize the influence this loving, caring woman had on me. Sometimes I have long work days when I may only have a brief moment with my family, but when I have shorter work days (or weekends) I meet my daughters for coffee shp or take the grandchildren to the playground.

The idea of trying to have a 50/50 balance daily between work and family is usually not possible for most of us. Finding a harmony between work and home over the week or the month is the key.

For our family last week it seemed that time stood still for awhile as we laughed and cried over photogrpahs and memories that Betty - Jane  had been part of for so many years.  Last night we gathered the grandchildren for a brief fireworks display and popcorn because that is traditon, and Betty- Jane would have liked that we continued with our family rituals, which were so important to her.

Today we're all back at work and in some cases "catching up".  But I'm glad we took time as an extended family to appreciate a terrific person that I had the privilege of calling "mom".

The other day I was talking to Robert Donnelly from Bear Trap Communications -- one of the people on my team. We were discussing an incident that had happened to me that could have been construed as having been handed a lemon.

However, as a coach who tells people you need to look at what is right, or good about your situation, I said to Bob, my marketing guy, I'd like to turn this into lemonade.

Bob looked me squarely in the eye -- and without losing a second -- said, "or lemon meringue pie"!

What a concept. I loved it. From now on forget about making lemonade out of a lemon, I want lemon meringe pie.

Later that same day I received an email from a client who "dumped" on me -- everything that was going wrong.  At least a dozen lemons here.

So, with lemon meringe pie in my mind's eye, I started looking for those nuggets -- albeit small sometimes -- that were good in her life.  Things she could hold up and say, "Yes, that works" or "Yes, I was successful there."

Sometimes a visual like Lemon Meringue Pie is all we need to start looking for what works and how we can make it work even better.

You know what I'm going to have this weekend for dessert?  That's right --LEMON MERINGUE PIE!!!

As part of a wellness campaign by one of my clients I was hired to answer questions on sleep deprivation. Many of the employees work shifts so you can imagine that they are likely more sleep deprived than those who have regular work hours.  We fielded many questions.  Here's one important piece of information that I shared with a number of folks....

According to William Dement, the researcher who first observed and coined the term "Rapid Eye Movement" (REM),  if you lose just one hour of sleep every night for a week you will feel like you stayed awake for 24 straight hours.  So what do you do if you lose sleep one night? Here's what  happened to me...

Since I had to be up at 3:30 AM to catch the morning shiftworkers that day, I experienced sleep deprivation of just 2.5 hours that night.  I did not have any extra sleep for the next two nights and I felt "a little tired". Finally on Saturday morning I let myself sleep in until  I woke up naturally -- without an alarm clock. 

The solution to losing sleep once in the while is to pay back your sleep debt as soon as you can. Even if it means going to bed earlier two or three nights to do so, or catching a nap if at all possible.

If you are among the many who have experienced years of sleep deprivation,   it may take a few weeks of going to be earlier or catching naps to return to a better sleep schedule for you.  But the payback in feeling alert, alive, and joyful is worth the effort!